Invictus
by William Ernest Henley; 1849-1903
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate;
I am the captain of my soul.
AUTHOR: Louis Untermeyer, ed., 1885–1977.
TITLE: Modern British poetry, edited by Louis Untermeyer.
PUBLISHED: New York, Harcourt, Brace and Howe, 1920.
PHYSICAL DETAILS: 2 p. l., iii–xxv, 234 p. 19 cm.
ISBN: 1-58734-063-1.
CITATION: Untermeyer, Louis. Modern British Poetry. New York, Harcourt, Brace and Howe, 1920; Bartleby.com, 1999. www.bartleby.com/103/. [Date of Printout].
ON-LINE ED.: Published January 1999 by Bartleby.com; © Copyright Bartleby.com, Inc. (Terms of Use).
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Obvious Epiphanies: You will never have what you want if you always put off working on it.
When I was on the phone right now with my oldest son, I said the following that he thought was quotable, if obvious:
"You will never have what you want, if you always put off working on it."
"You will never have what you want, if you always put off working on it."
Swimming Up a Waterfall
I "suffer" from depression. Suffer is a good word for it, although that is a bit too emotionally, dramatically, energetically charged in some ways. My depression causes me to not have that much energy. I "struggle" with my depression. Again, too much dynamism.
For me, the most accurate description would be that I am burdened by depressive pressure always exerting itself on my nature. I want sunshine, but I seem to always be peering at it through mist or fog. I squint at the life in front of me, searching for gaps in the grey and looking for the rays of light.
But it is a difficult thing to do at times. The marathonish nature of it takes its toll and my spiritual eyes get tired, so from time to time I close them and nap. "Nap Time" for me is sometimes not a restorative thing, but a hellish nonexistential sort of place where I am impotent and paralyzed and stuck and hopeless and cowardly and apathetic and pathetic. Finding my way back from there, avoiding that grey world, staying in the sun and fighting to live a FULL life is so damn difficult for me. Trying to do that while a full time homemaker with a cluttered chaotic home and five fantastic intelligent strong willed very different from each other kids and a workaholic husband who travels out of town on a regular basis and a demanding amazing extended family is almost impossible for me at times. Being a perfectionist on top of it all that is a cross between Martha Stewart and Roseanne Barr and Oprah Winfrey?
It is like trying to swim up a waterfall.
For me, the most accurate description would be that I am burdened by depressive pressure always exerting itself on my nature. I want sunshine, but I seem to always be peering at it through mist or fog. I squint at the life in front of me, searching for gaps in the grey and looking for the rays of light.
But it is a difficult thing to do at times. The marathonish nature of it takes its toll and my spiritual eyes get tired, so from time to time I close them and nap. "Nap Time" for me is sometimes not a restorative thing, but a hellish nonexistential sort of place where I am impotent and paralyzed and stuck and hopeless and cowardly and apathetic and pathetic. Finding my way back from there, avoiding that grey world, staying in the sun and fighting to live a FULL life is so damn difficult for me. Trying to do that while a full time homemaker with a cluttered chaotic home and five fantastic intelligent strong willed very different from each other kids and a workaholic husband who travels out of town on a regular basis and a demanding amazing extended family is almost impossible for me at times. Being a perfectionist on top of it all that is a cross between Martha Stewart and Roseanne Barr and Oprah Winfrey?
It is like trying to swim up a waterfall.
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